While most of the gaps in Cecil’s memories in “Cassette” were caused by the mysterious flickering movement, nobody in Night Vale can really remember anything specific about Leonard Burton ever since Cecil became the new Voice of Night Vale.
posted 2 hours ago with 24 notes
During Old Oak Doors, Lauren Mallard proudly declares, “Also, we know everyone fears libraries in Night Vale, which is why Strexcorp will tear down the library, destroy the dangerous librarians, and replace it with StrexBooks Purchase Centers!”
If only Lauren had paid more attention to episode 29, she would know that if destroying the Library were that easy, it would’ve happened long ago. Night Vale already burns the building to the ground every few days. Even Tamika Flynn could only save so many people from the Summer Reading Program. What chance does Strexcorp think it has?
Under the cut, by request: all the canon information we have about the Night Vale Public Library — its policies, its surrounding businesses, and its Librarians.
Complete through episode 54.
[[MORE]]
e002 Glow Cloud: Saturday, the public library will be unknowable. Citizens will forget the existence of the library from 6am Saturday morning until 11pm that night. The library will be under a sort of renovation. It is not important what kind of renovation.
e004 PTA Meeting: Last year, [Michael] Sandero only completed two out of 130 pass attempt—most notably, because he was in advanced staged of cerebral palsy, and because his throwing hand had been removed due to several overdue library books.
e006 The Drawbridge: Those unidentifiable black metallic trees that suddenly appeared by the library back in June and caused all airborne objects above thirty feet to catch fire? Well, they’ve finally been cleared away, as a new strip mall and parking lot are being developed.
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e007 History Week: The results of a recent survey of Night Vale residents came to light this week. The study found widespread dissatisfaction with our town’s public library. And, when considering the facts, it’s easy to see why.
The public computers for internet use are outdated and slow. The lending period of 14 days is not nearly long enough to read lengthier books, given the busy schedules of all our lives.
The fatality rate is also well above the national average for public libraries. The library bloodstone circle does not appear to have seen any maintenance or cleaning in some time. There are reports of a faceless spectre moving about the Biography section, picking off lone browsers one by one.
And that Biography section, by the way, is far too small and has been oddly curated — containing 33 copies of the official biography of Helen Hunt, and no other books.
From top to bottom, the public library is a disgrace to our fair city and I can only hope that our City Council does something about that soon, or I may find myself hoping that the faceless spectre puts the library to the same mysterious, violent end as its many victims.
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e009 Pyramid: As a member of the Air-Filled Earth Society, Paul [Birmingham] believes that Earth is a precariously-inflated orb that could pop or sag at any moment. “We’ve gotta stop teaching all this religious propaganda in our schools and start teaching real science,” Paul shouted from his lean-to behind the library.
e010 Feral Dogs:  [T]he pack of feral dogs was seen this morning rooting around in the dumpsters behind the library. They made off with some discarded Chinese take-out containers, a rusty futon frame, and two homeless men — likely to become henchpeople to the wild dogs. If you are near the library, be warned that these dogs are dangerous.
Also, be warned that penalties for overdue books have skyrocketed to fifty cents per day and, after thirty days, jaw mutilation.
e011 Wheat and Wheat By-Products: Everyone else should head immediately to the Wheat and Wheat By-Products Shelter that has been sitting unused for decades under the public library.
e015 Street Cleaning Day: In the meantime, [the City Council] are leaving Paul Birmingham in charge. Paul, the vagrant who lives in a lean-to behind the Library, could not be reached for comment — as he has faked his own death in an elaborate scheme to escape Street Cleaning Day unscathed.
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e016 The Phone Call: After several months of protests from ordinary Night Vale citizens of stout and sturdy character, the City Council has announced several improvements for the public library.
These improvements are the following:
An entrance is being constructed at the front of the building, so we will no longer have to enter by waking up between two shelves in a dizzy haze, unsure of how we got there, and then wandering around, trapped, until we wake with a start in our own beds, covered with sweat, and with a few books we checked out on our nightstand.
Drinking fountains are being installed in the lobby, as well as dunking chambers, and a state-of-the-art fainting pool.
Librarian repellent dispensers are being placed throughout the building. Remember, if approached by a librarian, keep still. Do not run away. Try to make yourself bigger than the librarian.
Finally, the children’s section is getting beanbag chairs.
=====
e020 Poetry Week: Last year, over 800,000 poems were written by Night Vale residents, and then eaten during the Poetry Week’s closing ceremonies by real live librarians, who were chained to titanium posts inside double-locked steel cages.
Honestly, listeners, I don’t think it’s a good idea to ever have librarians out in public, no matter how secure the posts or cages are. I know there were no serious injuries last year, but some of you older listeners might remember what happened in 1993, when an unchecked librarian population resulted in the loss of many innocent and screaming book lovers.
But that was twenty years ago. Let’s not dwell on our corpse-strewn past! Let’s celebrate our corpse-strewn future.
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e027 First Date: 
The Night Vale Public Library will be expanding into a second branch, the Night Vale Private Library. This library will be right next door to the current location and will be available only to one person, local billionaire Marcus Vansten. […]
The public library Board of Directors issued a statement via loudspeaker from their helicopter that hovers continuously over our city, indicating that they feel this expansion will serve the community, by showing how rich Marcus is, and what a great guy that obviously makes him. And have you seen how many cars that guy owns? Wow.
Reports also indicate that the Night Vale Private Library will be entirely free of librarians, a fact that will be of little comfort to the many public library goers who are injured or killed in librarian maulings every year. Remember, if confronted by a librarian while looking for a book to check out, do not attempt to escape by climbing a tree. There are no trees in the library. And the precious moments it will take you to look around and realize this will allow the librarian to strike.
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e028 Summer Reading Program: 
The Summer Reading Program for children and teens has begun at the Night Vale Public Library.
This comes as an alarming surprise, given that the program was abolished by the City Council thirty years ago. Though parents and teenagers have asked on several occasions to reinstate the program, the City Council has maintained its position, citing lack of taxpayer funds, the extreme danger posed by books, the peril of exposing children to librarians, and of course, the incident that precipitated the ban, which the town’s older residents will refer to only as “The Time Of Knives”.
Nevertheless, in a show of civic dedication, or mindless bloodlust - and they really are so similar - Night Vale’s librarians have banded together in defiance of authority to reinstate Summer Reading.
Colorful posters with appealing statements like, “Get Into A Good Book This Summer!” and “We Are Going To Force You Into A Good Book This Summer!” and “You Are Going To Get Inside This Book, And We Are Going To Close It On You And There Is Nothing You Can Do About It!” have appeared overnight around the library entrance and in local shops and businesses, all sporting the clever tagline, “Catch the flesh-eating reading bacteria!”
The Sheriff’s Secret Police have responded by interrogating the proprietors of businesses where the posters have appeared, and by removing and confiscating the posters themselves.
Although, to be honest, listeners, the graphic design work is really cute. I mean, have you seen them? The little flesh-eating germ, with his sun hat and library book, using a screaming semi-skeletal human victim as a beach chair? Ah! Adorable.
[…]
An update on the Summer Reading situation. Fourteen young people between the ages of 5 and 17 have already been reported missing, and are feared to be in the public library, and possibly learning.
Attempts by the Sheriff’s Secret Police to enter the library, rescue the missing children, and put an end to all summer reading activities have failed, as all doors and windows have mysteriously disappeared from the library exterior, just like it was before the renovations. Our tax dollars paid for those doors and windows, and we shouldn’t be expected to stand for library administrators just deciding to disappear them on a whim, even for a valid reason, like jealously guarding their possession of our stolen children, without at least putting the issue to a popular vote.
Anyway. In light of this development, the City Council has declared a Level Orange fear alert. They advise that all Night Vale citizens avoid the public library, and provide the Council with any information they may have on the whereabouts of the missing children, on librarians’ secret weaknesses, or on good books they’ve read lately. Any citizens who admit to having read good books, the Council added in an impromptu press conference, televised from a book-proof bunker, will be immediately scheduled for re-education, and subsequent de-education.
The Sheriff’s Secret Police, meanwhile, have instituted a curfew for the entire town, effective immediately. After 7 p.m., all minors should be at home and under adult supervision, and absolutely no reading, researching, online information seeking, educational games, documentary television, or having a lifelong love of learning will be permitted.
As their catchy new slogan puts it, “Once it gets dark, forget everything you ever knew and be silent. Words belong to our enemies, and our enemies are words, so be as mute and pure as a bone bleached clean by our desert sun. By our desert sun.”
The Police have also stated that any Night Vale citizen encountering a librarian, an entity suspected of being a librarian, or any excessively organized and helpful individual with a working comprehension of information systems is encouraged to shoot on sight. They also added this goes for teachers as well, since ‘what the hell, as long as we’re at it.’
[…]
Breaking news: despite the best efforts of the Sheriff’s Secret Police and citizenry, we have received confirmation that over a hundred children and adolescents have disappeared from their homes, beds, part-time jobs, or summer forced labor camps, and are now presumed to be inside the Night Vale Public Library, and subject to the Summer Reading Program.
Unfortunately, it is my sad duty to announce that this includes Intern Paolo, a high school junior who’s been helping to organize the radio station archives over the summer months.
[…] I’ve just received alarming news. An alert citizen has called in to report inhuman shrieking, thick meaty sounds, and a coppery, rotten smell of gore and viscera coming from the now sealed and impenetrable Night Vale Public Library, which are, of course, all fairly standard elements of the Summer Reading Program as described in the library director’s original proposal.
[…]
This just in, listeners. We’ve received reports that the entrances to the Night Vale Public Library have reappeared, and the missing children have begun to emerge from inside the building.The children have been described as wild-eyed, feral, some staggering upright, and some running on all fours like animals, caked in effluvia and far more emaciated than their time of absence would seem to account for, but otherwise, well, healthy, and unharmed.
At the head of the dazed and shambling pack was their apparent chosen leader, twelve-year-old Tamika Flynn, her mouth clenched in a blood-crusted snarl, and carrying the severed head of a librarian in one hand, and a gore-streaked sticker chart in the other. Eyewitnesses who dared to get close enough to read the chart reported that Tamika had even finished Cry, The Beloved Country, which is very impressive for her reading level. Well done, Tamika!
Indeed, congratulations are in order for all the young people of Night Vale who participated in the Summer Reading Program, for proving that neither abduction nor captivity, neither horrors beyond imagining nor unfamiliar vocabulary can prevent you from embracing the pleasures of belles lettres. Here’s to you, boys and girls, and remember, even while we congratulate Tamika for winning your loyalty with her sophisticated comprehension and extremes of berserker violence, that the real victory won today has been for literacy.
=====
e029 Subway: Also, we’re getting reports that a press conference was just held in front of the ashen shell of the public library, which of course was burned down last night, and it’s only a matter of days until we’ll need to burn it down again. Several masked figures, having called the press conference, claimed responsibility for the subway system.
[…] I am told that the black-charred grounds of the library are covered in roaches as well
e034 A Beautiful Dream: Saturday afternoon is Amnesty Day at the Night Vale Public Library. Librarians request that if you have overdue books, or have committed any high-level international crime, or domestic treason, or space-travel felony, you should just come to the library, and all will be forgiven.
The Librarians say that they will not harm you. In fact, they add, “It doesn’t hurt at all. Amnesty is actually quite freeing, quite delicious.” the Librarians explained. “You will never have to worry about anything else. Just come to the library and let us see you. Let us see you!" they added for emphasis, and a long string of spittle flew sideways from their great yellow and gnarled teeth.
e035 Lazy Day: Update on the Summer Reading Program from a couple of months ago. Those children who made it out of the library alive – bloodied, covered in the guts of Librarians, and clutching reading lists far in advance of their grade level – have formed an organized militia under the leadership of fellow survivor, 12 year-old Tamika Flynn.
[…] Tamika has taken to wearing the detached hand of a Librarian around her neck as a warning to any who would dare face her that she has already defeated the most fearsome creature imaginable.
e049 Old Oak Doors Part A: Tamika Flynn: I’ve looked at a librarian right in the area where most creatures would have eyes. You do not scare me!
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e054 A Carnival Comes to Town: This Thursday, at the Night Vale Public Library, is the twice-annual Cleaning of the Books. The Sheriff’s Secret Police Super Secret Special Forces Unit will be on hand to subdue the librarians, who regularly attempt to not only undermine our city with dangerous books, but also sink their sharp claws and pincers into library visitors before flying them off to eat or toy with or…whatever it is they do to their victims.

The Cleaning of the Books is our way of double-checking that the librarians are keeping a clean stock of municipally-approved books, such as The Biography of Helen Hunt and all four of Dean Koontz’s novels.

Librarians are well-known for sneaking in books by dangerous authors. In 1988, two – two! copies of Pride and Prejudice were found in Night Vale. No one knows quite how many people read these copies, but the ensuing riots inconvenienced hundreds and led to the current cleaning schedule.

Not everyone is in favor of this practice, though. New mayor Dana Cardinal issued a public rebuke of book cleaning. The mayor admitted that, while “books are pretty dangerous,” and she “doesn’t recommend them for everyone,” we should “concentrate more on protecting ourselves from the librarians themselves, who are the real danger.”

Teenage book lover and heroic militia leader Tamika Flynn also offered her protest of this important event, saying, “books and libraries are dangerous. Which is exactly why we should protect them. Librarians are conniving and vicious monsters, but they also know how to recommend a good read. Their methods may be violent, but we must be willing to face great challenges in order to achieve great things.”

Tamika continued, “We will grow soft without books, Night Vale,” as she waved her favorite copy of Helen DeWitt’s The Last Samurai, onlookers shielding their eyes from the forbidden tome.
posted 6 hours ago with 99 notes
The game Five Nights At Freddy’s actually takes place in a side business to Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. This is why the place has yet to be shut down by lawsuit, and also why you keep returning to work: you’ve signed a Blood Pact to complete the week.
posted 10 hours ago with 65 notes



Whenever Carlos calls while Cecil is “busy” crying and drinking in a dark room, Cecil tries his best to pretend he’s sober and like everything is fine. It doesn’t work.
posted 18 hours ago with 50 notes
The Man in the Tan Jacket was a scientist who was working with Carlos on a portal to another dimension. Unbeknownst to Carlos, he was using notes and copies of Carlos’ design to try and build his own portal and steal the credit. He had planned to test the prototype by throwing a suitcase full of flies into it, but somehow, since he rushed it so that he could have it running before Carlos’, it ended up sucking him in as well, erasing him from time.
posted 22 hours ago with 37 notes



The double-creating Sandstorm was caused by Strexcorp, who was trying to greatly increase productivity in the towns it control by doubling their populace, and Night Vale just happened to get caught in it because it was so close to Desert Bluffs. The Night Vale City Council announced that it was created by the government simply because they had no idea and didn’t want to admit it. The people of Night Vale were told by the Angels to kill the doubles because everything involved with Strexcorp is vile and horrible.
posted 1 day ago with 41 notes
Strexcorp is one of HYDRA’s proxies.
posted 1 day ago with 41 notes
The most common hair color in Night Vale is purple, black is considered extremely rare — yet another reason why Carlos’ hair is so perfect.
posted 1 day ago with 82 notes

protocat:

New Night Vale headcanon: Despite all the horror he’s been through, all of Carlos’ nightmares are about poor experimental procedure and bad data. He wakes up screaming in the night because oh god we didn’t wash the pipettes between uses the data’s all wrong and Cecil has to soothe him back to bed by promising him that he’s a good scientist.

posted 1 day ago with 3,060 notes
The entire town of Night Vale broke off contact with the other towns up north after a certain family moved to one and ended up with a dead daughter. Said daughter happened to be named Laura, and was Cecil’s older cousin.
posted 1 day ago with 35 notes

a caskade theme